Posts Tagged ‘News’

Imagine I was to approach you on the high street, verbally attacked you for holding humanist beliefs, criticised you for protecting your girlfriend or wife from STD’s (despite claiming to be a virgin), claimed the holocaust never happened, agreed with the slave trade, then to top it off order a cover up to allow people to abuse your children. Now imagine I said that you must think the same, and you must agree with what I say or suffer eternal damnation all because the voices in my head of an invisible man with a beard told me so. I’d be sectioned under the mental health act. That or I’d be Pope Benedict XVI on his tour of the UK.

Which one's him again?

Yes the man in a very ugly wedding gown, everyone’s favourite member of the Hitler youth, arrived today in Scotland amid a mutual press gang bang and a sea of drooling politicians and clergy. Before the pope-mobile was packed up, controversy had already surfaced over taxpayer funding, the catholic church’s position in global events, and what was nothing more than an attempted bitch-slap against the UK.

Benedict’s predecessor John Paul came to the UK on a “Holy” mission funded by the church having been invited by the Catholic church, Where as the current control freak came here having been invited by another unelected dogmatist, the Queen.  Ignoring the £25 cost of tickets to the open air mass in Glasgow or the cost of the inspired merchandise, who doesn’t want a Pope shaped bottle opener? Around £13 million is being spent on his tour, with an extra £1.5 million used to cover police standing around on a street rather than investigating muggings.

Apparently however, for his senior council the money isn’t enough as Cardinal Casper still saw fit to attack Britain for having a “multi-cultural society” by describing us as “Third World”. Which has an interesting logic to it, as if they define a Third World Country as somewhere where medical care is freely available, education is of a high standard, different ethnicities and cultures are widely tolerated, free speech and expression is common and food, water and energy are secure in supply then that must mean Iran is the most “First World” country around, with North Korea shortly behind them, and large areas of Africa. Whilst they claim no slide was intended, the old adage of closing the stable door after the horse is gone seems to apply.

The threat of people asking about the multi-billion organisation he runs raping children was one many feared would loom over his visit, but despite one question on the plane in which he said he was shocked when he found out this has been played down in favour of listening to what he wants to say. Although it is ironic that he was shocked as the man who ordered the cover up Casti Canubi as it is known within the church was indeed him. Back when he was Cardinal Ratzinger he lead the Catholic council on dealing with these “indulgences”, and ordered the cover up under penalty of excommunication. Why was he never arrested, because in the UK, US and many other EU countries the Pope as head of the Vatican was granted diplomatic immunity from any legal proceeding. Hence why the only way to get at him is through the civil courts and take their money.

But these really are of a minor nature, considering who the new enemy is to salvation and the countries future The Atheist. Since arriving this morning the Pope has launched an attack on what he describes as “Aggressive secularism”, shown by no invitation sent to the British humanist or secular societies while every other religious faith had representatives at his meet and greet in the Scottish capital.

Secularism, such as Athiesm, Agnostism and Humanism are the big guns for the wrinkly virgin, despite an estimated 40-50% of the population of the UK being non-religious. Even going as far as to saying, in a form of praise, that Britain had stood against Hitlers “atheist extremism

Fig 1

“Britain and her leaders stood against a Nazi tyranny that wished to eradicate God from society and denied our common humanity to many, especially the Jews, who were thought unfit to live”. Now correct me if I’m wrong, but weren’t Catholic priests captured giving salutes to the Genocidal Dictator (see fig 1)?

And wasn’t it the Catholic Church who had a platform of non-involvement during the Holocaust? I suppose though he may be right, and he did apologise around 65 years too late. But then who’d know more about mass slaughters and human suffering than a former member of the Hitler Youth in the Vatican. Oh and by the way, this claim Hitler was an Atheist, if that’s true explain why he was seen inspecting a giant cross in Germany with two close advisors (see fig 2)

Fig 2

There is one blessing though, ironic as using that term may be, they had hoped to attract over 100,000 people to the mass in Glasgow, they had to reduce that to 65,000. Even a man I know who went to see the Pope in Edinburgh, and then travelled to Glasgow this afternoon isn’t going to see the boogieman speak. He’s going to get very drunk in a pub, the true worship halls of Scotland.

The tour of course is not over; he’s still got the Midlands and the Capital to take in before he hopes on the plane back to Pasta-Land. So who knows what otherwise will come out of it, the one thing that is obvious, is in the BBC’s refusal to speak to any secular or atheist speakers to get the counter argument (this may change as the night progresses) it’s suck up time in the media. If you want truly unbiased news on what is going on, then you’ll have to go to the events yourself, as I’m certainly not unbiased, and neither is the mighty BBC, either way do yourself a favour, and seriously question anything that’s said by the man in the white dress.

Adam Walker

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For many people, by which I mean the ones who always seem to appear on TV or in films, your first job is usually a romantic day dream surrounded by either steaming hot trays of pancakes and waffles as you roller skate around the diner or have to apologise for the 50th time for “accidently” breaking the window of the local pensioner when delivering his paper at 10mph. The wistful smells of sweet summers, the friendly customers smiling, the broken ankle after slipping on the coffee you forgot to mop up, it’s quite a wonderful idea to reflect on when your sitting on a rocking chair in your 80s. Too bad that it’s complete bollocks for some 90% of us.

For the majority who lived after the 50s revolution the first job usually fell into one of two categories: either just some pointless part time job in a shop stacking shelves or clothes whilst being asked 30 times were the toilets are, or having to work at a low wage job such as mining or steel working from 16-60 because education and job chances in your area were so poor you had no choice. Although this second one in Britain is now more or less gone the first one is more true than ever, the only modern twist being that even when you do have access to education at a university level it still largely does nothing to help you get into any area you studied for, or would of hoped of working in.

This might sound somewhat pessimistic or untrue, but the reality of it all is that with near 50% of young people going to university, it’s evolved from something that was once a way of really learning and setting your self out from a crowd into an almost automatic right that costs you upwards of £20,000 and putting you in a crowd of thousands of young people. So suddenly a degree is not enough anymore.

With millions of people unemployed right now, even for low-key jobs the markets pretty desperate, well if your applying that is. For those on the other side, the employers, things couldn’t be better.  Take the media for example, a good one as many young people aim to work in it with booming numbers of media courses. If you’re an Editor or a Producer you long to have around 200 people apply, although it means sitting through a lot of nonsense it means you can pick usually around 60 of the best and offer them a week long placement or unpaid internship, which as the buzzword nowadays is “Experience”, most will happily snap up.

Think about it, that means you can have a whole year filled with essentially free labour, admittedly most of the tasks given will be the stuff that no one wants to do such as cataloguing but it means it gets done without you having to pay over £12,000 for the pleasure. In fact the money flows the other way, with the average work placement costing people over £400, especially as most of the UK’s media is based out of London, and unless you live there you’ve got to pay for board, food and travel.

Many of the familiar TV personalities had a different time, as this idea of work experience is a relatively new phenomenon, with people being hired for their ability rather than having made 3 million cups of tea.

You may be tempted to think: “so what, things are hard all over”, or you may even think young people won’t care because they enjoy TV and partying too much. If that was true then 21-year-old Vicky Harrison would still be alive.

I don’t know if you saw this story when it came out in April, but Vicky had 3 A-Levels, 10-GCSE’s and even went to University before deciding she didn’t like the course. She had applied for more than 200 jobs, not just in teaching or TV like she had hoped to do, but even just working in McDonalds or Tesco. Every time it was a cold hard no, until after two years, and suffering from severe depression she took a fatal drug overdose.

Between December and February, youth unemployment rose to 929,000. A figure expected to increase as increasing numbers of young people are turned away by universities. In the Daily Mail, following the tragic story of Miss Harrison, a reporter revealed she had been trying to help a young reporter, who was interning with her, named Emma find work, after she worked from 9am to midnight, longer than most of the paid journalists. Despite the Mail Reporters senior experience and contacts, all she could offer from other groups was unpaid internships, leading her to remark: “But they are not OK. Nowadays, you have to have rich parents to work in any of the sexy jobs such as fashion or advertising or journalism.

“When I first worked on Fleet Street, my newspaper was not being published because the printers were on strike for, like, a million years, and I still got paid for just sitting there eating a sandwich.”

To the employers, young people now are essentially willing slave labor, who will do any job no matter how tedious because they’ve been duped by spin in job ads into thinking you need 3 years of experience before you can get a job. To much of the public, young people are all image obsessed, drunken loud mouths that care more about appearance than anything. If that’s true, then its also true to say all pensioners move at 1 mile, are closet bigots and serve no purpose in life. Generalizations can be fun when they’re not aimed at a group your in.

Basically the job market for young people is ridiculously discriminatory, with many either being told they lack experience of being given psychometric testing, something that is as accurate at telling a persons personality as licking their bath towels and identifying the shower gel they use. Of course this won’t change anytime soon, unless we return to the violent protests of the late 80s and then things will likely change for the worse. But if you are thinking of employing someone, for the love of bread and butter pudding ignore the qualifications and actually ask them about who they really are, when they love, what they hate, whether they think we should hang or poison MPs. And if your looking for work, two pieces of advise: 1, no amount of book studying, or work places are going to help as employers will always find a way to screw you over, and 2, 1 in 4 lap dancers has a degree, so don’t think that what you study is what your going to end up doing, by all means try just don’t close every door in the pursuit.

Adam Walker

As the title says, welcome to A16 Media, a news and features website for the socially inept. Primarily consisting of features providing annaylsis of major issues, news stories or things that, sadly, you are required to do regardless of free will.

For many people, most of the media is a cold, ruthless and somewhat ignorant place where the same old tired views and misery is spread around without ever really challenging the topic as they once did in the 60s and 70s. Unless your American in which case the news reader is probably challenging anything vaguely to the left of Hitler by breaking down screaming, crying and looking like they have 50 miles of make up on that has started to melt.

Thats not to say this site is not a cold, ruthless and uncaring place. In many ways it is just as harsh and brutal in the way it describes the world, just at least its honest at it being that way.